


Stay

by Avelera



Series: After Uprising [4]
Category: Pacific Rim (Movies)
Genre: First Kiss, Fluff, M/M, Mind Control Aftermath & Recovery, Mutual Pining, Newton Geiszler Recovery Arc, POV Hermann Gottlieb, Post-Movie: Pacific Rim: Uprising (2018), Requited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-21
Updated: 2019-02-21
Packaged: 2019-11-01 22:26:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,219
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17875997
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Avelera/pseuds/Avelera
Summary: Hermann takes Newt home.





	Stay

**Author's Note:**

> An Anon prompted: If you're not too swamped and feel inspired by it I'd love to see your take of a Newmann 'Im so proud of you, you know that's (from the soft prompt list) x
> 
> This was the second written, but the third chronologically in a series of Newmann prompts I've written over on Tumblr. Each prompt can stand alone, but also functions as a progression of the series (so there may be some recapping). For now it concludes the trilogy, but I may add more to this timeline so be sure to subscribe to the series! I hope you enjoy.

The final days of the infection were brutal. The Precursors had lost their hold over Newt bit by bit as the time stretched since his last Drift with the hive mind, but that only seemed to make them more desperate.

At times, Hermann truly feared they’d shake Newton apart, or simply kill him out of spite as they struggled and clawed after their waining control. No one dared let Newt out of his cell even as his lucid moments stretched, in case they chose that moment to come roaring back. The effort of will to force them back down again often left Newton trembling and bathed in sweat.

It had been three months since his last incident when the PPDC dared to let him out of the quarantine to walk under his own power to the medical bay for the final scans. The first scans upon his capture had shown a storm of activity in his cerebrum, it was a wonder Newt hadn’t had a stroke from the level of chaos of two consciousnesses fighting for control of his body. Hermann’s knuckles were white from gripping his cane as he waited for the results, watching the doctors as they consulted the images while Newt sat in the locked holding room, looking down at his folded hands.

He was quieter these days than Hermann ever remembered, one might even say subdued. The Newton he had known could never sit still for ten minutes, much less an hour, without jiggling his leg, interjecting some comment, doodling, or tapping out a melody with his fingers. Perhaps it was one mark of his ordeal—a scar—that he had learned silence.

Hermann was Newton’s designated caretaker, had been officially since Newt’s first lucid moment when he’d squeaked out an affirmative from beneath the weight of their control, enough to count as consent. The doctors came to Hermann first now, and he struggled to his feet, feeling as ungainly as a turtle rolling off its shell in the rush to see the scans. Newt watched him, eyes tracking him from behind the glass. A twitch of apprehension tightened his jaw.

“The scans are clear, for the most part,” said the doctor, a Dr. Abadi, a distinguished woman a few years older than Hermann. She gestured to a cloud of activity on the scan. “When Jaeger pilots who have lost their partner exhibit this level of activity, we generally consider them out of the woods with regards to suicide risk or other dangerous behavior. Most described the echo of their partner as manageable at that point, an intrusive thought rather than a controlling impulse. Dr. Geiszler’s situation is unusual but, combined with observation, I would consider this grounds to recommend his return to civilian life, albeit with regular check-ins and light observation, which you have clearance to administer, Dr. Gottlieb.”

Hermann exhaled slowly to try to control the spike of his heartbeat, the leap of hope. “When would that be?”

“We could release him into your custody now if you keep to your residence on the base,” Abadi said. “Going beyond these grounds, however, would require further clearance from the PPDC.”

Dizziness swept through Hermann at those words. He muttered his way through the rest of the paperwork, guides, and assurances by the doctor, but could not stop stealing glances at Newton in the next room. It was an eternity before the door the doctor unlocked the door and he was left alone with Newton.

“So, what’s the damage?” Newt said lightly but his shoulders tensed. They were always dancing around each other these days, careful not to delve too deeply into what existed between them. Hermann knew the only time Newton cried the day of the attacks was when his fingers were wrapped around Hermann’s throat. Newton knew that Hermann had moved heaven and earth to ensure he was captured and not killed, and had spent every waking moment since working towards his treatment and eventual freedom. Both knew that Newton had put himself entirely into Hermann’s hands without hesitation. Both knew that in the end, when Newton was finally cleared, they would…

Hermann cleared his throat. “We can go home now.”

“… Home?” Newt’s eyebrows furrowed in question, as if he hadn’t heard right.

“You’ve been cleared. Do you need anything from your… from your old quarters?”

“From my  _cell_? No! Wait, are you kidding me?” Newt jumped to his feet. Once, Hermann might have expected him to punch the air, whooping or dancing at the news but he stopped there, a grin threatening his lips. Composure. Newt never had that before, either. “I’m never going the fuck back there again. Burn it. I’ll just wear your clothes. Uh… hey, can I borrow some of your clothes? And there’s not gonna be, like, a line painted down the middle of your place, right?”

Hermann snorted, an excellent cover for the lump in his throat. “I’ll happily sacrifice a portion of my wardrobe if it means never seeing one of those garish silk shirts again. Which is to say, ah… what’s mine is yours.” He stuttered over the last. Newton met his eye and he knew it clearly as if Newton had spoken that this was it, that soon they would have to come to a decision on what they were to one another. It was one thing to tend a friend and colleague through a time of crisis, another to open up his home to that man while he got back on his feet…

But for the first time they would have privacy. There’d be no cameras, no recording devices. No risk that Hermann offering a kind word could be used to wrest Newton’s custody away from him for fear that he couldn’t offer impartiality. They'd be alone for the first time since… since he couldn’t remember how long. Perhaps a few moments in the dreadful lead up days to the attack when he still dwelled in ignorance. Perhaps when Newton’s hand was wrapped around his throat.

Hermann offered his hand. A stiff, awkward gesture that he half-wished he could pass off as a muscle twitch if Newton didn’t take it. What were they to each other? What could they be?

Newton regarded the hand for a moment before his fingertips slide over Hermann’s palm to take it. Hermann wasn’t sure if he should be surprised that he did.

* * *

Hermann stood silently by after they entered the flat, to give Newt time to acclimate to the new surroundings, sparse as they were. Living alone, Hermann hadn’t seen much point in bedecking his living quarters. They were simple, functional, containing mostly books and work papers, furniture to accommodate his disability, and one of the Kaiju figurines Newton had left behind when he left for Shao Industries, perched on the corner of a bookshelf beside his desk. It was single level and so could become cramped  before long for two grown men who were not, strictly speaking,  _together_  in any way that Hermann might secretly hope. They weren’t there yet. They might never be. Newton might just take the time to get on his feet before seeking out new accommodations and privacy. The thought shouldn’t squirm in Hermann’s chest the way it did.

Finally, Newt sat on the bed and stretched his arms above his head luxuriously. “Fuck it’s good to get a change of scenery. Are you hungry? We could order a pizza. God, I would  _murder_  for a pizza.”

Hermann snorted despite himself and took a seat beside Newton on the bed. Newt doesn’t move away which was, in itself, a comfort. “It is a military base, but there are some alternatives to the cafeteria, yes.”

Silence lapsed, and he could tell by the fidgeting of Newt’s fingers and the pursing of his lips that it was one where he would like to say something but couldn't find the words. Hermann found himself in very much the same situation. He felt as if he were floating somewhere above the full impact of having Newt here, beside him in his home, with as clean a bill of health as Earth could provide from Precursor influence after ten years. Ten years of whatever torments they subjected him to, ten years of isolation, ten years of Hermann’s shameful neglect.

“Newton, I’m so sorry—”

“I’m so fucking proud of you, you know that?” Newt said simultaneously, and both broke off, staring at one another.

“What.”

“What?”

“The hell do you have to be sorry for, man?” Newt gaped. “Uh, in case you hadn’t noticed, I would have been completely shit-outta-luck if you hadn’t been there to pull me out at the end. Like, imprisoned for life or more likely just fucking  _dead_. You saved my life.  _Again_. I seriously,  _seriously_  owe you for everything you’ve done since… since, y’know, the attacks. And thanks to those  _jackasses_  I haven’t been able to say it.”

Hermann’s mouth worked. “Newton, I _abandoned_ you. I didn’t figure out soon enough what had happened. I was too late, a step behind…”

Newt barked a sharp laugh. “What? What are you even talking about, man? You think I… ok wait, wait a minute back it up.” Newt held up a hand before pointing at Hermann. “You think I’m mad at you for not figuring out that I was possessed by aliens who wanted to destroy the world?”

“Well, when you put it that way…” Hermann’s lips twisted. “In a word, yes. And for not discovering their plan sooner.”

Some of the levity fell from Newt’s posture and the corner of his lips twisted down as he shook his head as if weighing Hermann’s words. “Ok, that one was a little on you. I figured once Obsidian Fury turned up with a Kaiju nervous system I’d have a good  _chance_  of someone figuring it out, but that's still on, like… the  _entire_  PPDC for not figuring out two plus two on that one. I mean, who the fuck else besides the Kaiju expert at Shao could have figured out how to put evil Kaiju parts  _into an evil Jaeger?_ ” Newt shrieked, annoyance flicking over his face in what looked like a very old and oft-repeated frustration. He took a deep breath, steadying himself. “But before that? Dude, as far as you knew, I told you on no uncertain terms to fuck the fuck off because I had a hot new life and a hot new wife, what else were you supposed to do? Stalk me? Frankly, I’m lucky you want to talk to me at all after that.”

Hermann cleared his throat, flushing a little at the reference to  _stalking_ , the thought might have crossed his mind more than once. “Was any of that you, when I spoke to you, before the attacks? Or was it all… them?”

Newt puffed out a thoughtful sigh and scratched the stubble on his cheek. “A little of both? They had this way of… I dunno, twisting my words. Like, I  _did_  want you to come over, but I sure as fuck didn’t want you to meet  _Alice_. And I missed saving the world together, but I’m not  _that_  much of a douche as to make it sound like you just  _helped_  me, right? It was like, I’d  _start_  to say something to you and then they’d add some dickish twist to it so it was an insult. But sometimes… sometimes I wasn’t totally mad about it? You were always ragging on my research back in Hong Kong. It felt good to rain on your parade a little, just to get back. Like, I wasn't trying to be a dick about the rocket fuel thing but I  _was_  trying to shut you down so you wouldn't give the _evil aliens_  ideas like Kaiju blood for  _rocket_   _fuel_ , you dipshit! ...At the same time it was like, dude, fucking _sick_  how you figured out Kaiju blood for rocket fuel!But it's not like I could just _tell_ you that. Even once they were gone, I felt like I had to be careful. I didn’t want the PPDC to hear, in case they got the wrong idea and thought you were complicit with me or some shit.”

“Hear what?” Hermann said breathlessly. Even with the months spent at Newton’s bedside, or rather just outside his cell, they’d not had the chance to speak candidly. There was, as Newton said, always an audience. His head was spinning.

Newt offered him a crooked smile. “That I’m proud of you, man! Like, holy shit, have you been listening to a word I said? Kaiju blood for  _rocket_ _fuel_ , Hermann?!Becoming a one-man K-Science lab, saving the fucking  _world?_  You  _cannot_  tell me those dumbass Jaeger pilots figured out a way to get from Moyulan all the way up to fucking  _Tokyo_  in less time than it took for the Precursors to hop in a fucking charter plane, no way. That  _had_  to be you, which means you saved the world.  _Again_. You’re a fucking rock star!”

“I… well, that is, I didn’t… it was nothing…” Hermann stuttered.

“Shut up, you totally are!” Newt’s eyes were shining and he grabbed Hermann’s hand in his enthusiasm, the gesture so familiar to a time gone by that tears prickled in Hermann’s eyes as his gaze jerked up to Newt’s face. “Do you know how pissed off the Precursors were about you,  _do you?_  They were fucking  _livid_ , you scared them shitless. They wanted you  _dead!_ ”

“Oh, well that’s terribly comforting,” Hermann said faintly. Newt laughed.

“Are you kidding? Man, I can’t  _think_  of a higher compliment. The genocidal bastards that wanted to wipe out our planet almost pissed themselves on the tarmac when they saw Hermann-fucking- _Gottlieb_  was there too! I thought they were going to _faint_ when you showed up at Shao that night, it was fucking gorgeous!”

“They needn’t have worried,” Hermann muttered. A blush was rising inexorably to his cheeks and ears. “I did nothing to prevent the attack.”

“You countered every single weapon they threw at you!” Newt exploded, throwing up his hands. “And it took them  _ten years_  to put those together. You did it, man. I thought… I mean, I’m gonna level with you, I  _hoped_  there would be someone on the outside smart enough to catch on, even when catching on would have been  _batshit insane_ , like come on, who just  _guesses_  that a fucking war hero like yours-truly is a sock puppet for aliens? That’s nuts, right? That’s the _only_ reason no one... no one figured out what happened to me.” There’s a fragility to Newt’s levity, as if he’s repeating a rote lesson he’s said to himself over and over, to reassure himself it was true. His voice cracked over the words, but he forged on. “I hoped there’d be someone. I hoped it would be you, honestly, and I was right. I was right because I had the best lab partner in the fucking _world_.”

At the words  _lab partner_ , Hermann jerked back and looked away. The space between them had been closing, Newt’s enthusiasm was infectious. He had caught himself wanting to close the distance, staring at Newton’s lips. But that was all they’d ever been on paper.  _Lab partners._

“Well, there were others involved,” Hermann said. “I can’t take all the credit. But it is… kind of you to say, Newton. Thank you. I had no idea you held me in such esteem.”

“Always, man,” Newt said. His voice was faint, and when Hermann glanced back his expression was soft. “Since the first. You couldn't have pissed me off as much as you did if I didn't respect the shit out of you.”

“Where will you go next?” Hermann said breathlessly, if only to change the subject so the blush rising up his throat wouldn’t consume him. “That is, I want to help you get back on your feet. You’re not beholden to me, and I don’t want you to feel as if you’ve swapped one prison for another, no matter what the PPDC might say on the matter. Your actions were clearly under duress and we will prove it, if necessary.”

“Next?” Newt said, as if he hadn’t heard any of the rest. He looked around the room, as if seeing it for the first time, and then to Hermann. “I, uh, hadn’t got that far, really? I guess I’m chill to hang out here for a bit, not get tangled up in all that paperwork that comes with leaving or…”

Newt stopped and scrubbed a hand through his hair. “Fuck, I can’t do this. I don’t have any plans, Herms. The thought of going back out into the world? Scares the ever-living shit out of me. What if they’re not really gone? What if they’re just waiting, y’know,  _hiding_ , and I’m gonna wake up at the helm of another evil corporation in a couple years? I’m right where I want to be, with a fucking army to keep an eye out in case they come back, and the person I… I trust most in the whole goddamn world to keep an eye on me. Hermann,” Newt squeaked, “I haven’t been totally honest and, fuck, you might throw me out for this, but there’s  _nowhere_   _else_  I’d rather be right now. I’ve been thinking about… about seeing you again for a fucking  _decade,_ and I was hoping… Look, you’re the only person that keeps me right, ok? I’m not sure where we stand but if you’re not gonna punch me in the face just for asking I was kinda hoping I could take you out sometime? There’s gotta be a restaurant around here somewhere, right? Or I could, I dunno, cook something for you and we could watch a movie, a real house-arrest style date.”

Newt’s eyes grew wild at Hermann’s continued, gaping silence, and his voice rose in pitch. “Or I could be totally off base and I’ll start looking for a place of my own right away! Fuck, I shouldn’t have even brought it up,  _fuck_  me and my stupid mouth, I could have at least waited a few days but nooo, had to make it weird. Look, I’m sorry, I…”

Newt began to rise to his feet, scrambling away from Hermann, and it sent a jolt through Hermann that jarred him out of the haze that had swallowed his brain. Hermann panicked, and did the only thing he could think of, the only thing to keep Newt from  _pulling away_.

He seized Newton by the shoulders and kissed him with all his might.

It was a messy, unglamorous affair. Their teeth clacked. Hermann’s face was so twisted with warring emotions he probably looked ridiculous. Newton seized up under his hands for a moment, and when Hermann dared open his eyes he saw Newt staring.

“Oh…” Newt breathed, and before Hermann could break away, babbling his own apologies, he continued, “fuck  _yes._ ” And Newt was gripping him in return, pushing Hermann back onto the bed so they were lying flat, kissing one another breathless.

“Stay with me,” Hermann muttered between kisses. “No more lines, no more separation. We’ll figure this out together. Stay.”

“What’s there to figure out?” Newt grinned against his lips. “I’ve got everything I was hoping for right here.”


End file.
